Why buy-in is the most important thing to add to your communication tool bag

aka How to get your way without being a bully

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Let’s talk about communication, one of the most important life skills. Regardless of your job or position in life, everyone can benefit from knowing how to build buy-in.

You may have a good idea, you may have all the details right, and you may have all the evidence to back up your points. But without buy-in, you risk all of that being overlooked. Or even worse, getting outright pushback or defensive responses.

Let’s talk about why that is and how to change it.

Why your ideas aren’t getting the approval of your team

1. People resist change. Even when you have a wonderful idea that saves time, trouble, and money, you are getting stopped with resistance because of people’s inertia.
2. You come off like a know-it-all. You’ve built a solid presentation and have all the points to back up your main idea. Maybe you’re presenting your plan at work. Or maybe you’re trying to get your family members on board with where to go for vacation next year. You hit the team with a tsunami of information. But no one seems to agree with you.
3. People like to be included. Let’s face it; no one likes to be told what to do. It’s respectful to ask and get others involved in the decision-making process. Even if you don’t care what’s for dinner, it’s so nice if someone asks you what you would like, isn’t it?

How to create buy-in to get your ideas over the finish line

1. Get other people involved. Include others in the decision-making process. Ask people what their preferences are, bring up your idea, and ask them what they think could improve your idea. If there is part of the plan you are getting pushback on, dig deeper to find out the “why.” It’s important to do this step in the beginning of the ideation process.
2. Compromise. Discuss any issues in a relaxed, conversational setting where compromises can be reached. This method may mean letting go of some parts of your proposal to reach a middle ground. Focus on the portions of your idea that you believe are the most important. But remember that reaching a plan of action is the main goal. For example, at the end of the day, wouldn’t you still rather go to Disney World, even if you’re not staying at the hotel you want?
3. Listen. No, like, really use those listening skills! Put down your phone, pay attention, and ask questions. More importantly, don’t interrupt and let people finish their entire statements. Save any probing questions until the end. Take notes if you need to, but not on an electronic device. Taking notes with pen and paper seems more genuine because your group knows that you aren’t distracted with other tasks on your laptop or cellphone.

What’s the result?

You’ll be surprised how much easier the decision-making process is once you get buy-in. Whether your team is your colleagues, your friends, or your family, the outcome of creating buy-in as a key communication tool is essential. There will be no reason for people to get defensive because you brought them on to the same side. Once you have the support of others, they will happily give you support because they feel like they are part of the decision. When people are part of the decision, they are invested in the outcome.