Keep your social circle thriving in your 30s and beyond

How to maintain cherished friendships when life gets real

Photo by Ben Duchac on Unsplash

Two words: standing reservations!

Ok, sounds interesting, what do I do?

A standing reservation is a reoccurring event to keep your selected group of friends in the loop. The key to having a successful standing resy is to plan a time and date that is convenient for most of the group most of the time.

Inexpensive and shorter events (think 1–2 hours) will have more longevity. Meet-ups can be a few hours at the pool every other Sunday, weekly Taco Tuesday dinner, or a 30-minute coffee in the morning.

When you keep in touch with your group regularly you will find that you don’t need every reunion to be super-lengthy. Think of it like this: if you call your Mom once a month, you may chat for an hour, but if you call her 3 times a week, you only need a 10-minute catch-up each time.

Why is a standing resy better than spontaneous hang-outs?

No one has to question if you are free. Consistent meet-ups eliminate the need to constantly round everyone up to coordinate schedules. . . and saves that one person (you know who you are) from being the unofficial event coordinator. You know, the one who always organizes the crew and gets annoyed if you don’t text back.

When should I schedule these dates?

That’s up to you! Weekly, bi-weekly or monthly usually work best. People tend to write off the weeknights, but don’t underestimate the refreshment a fun Thursday evening can provide.

For young couples, a dinner double-date may work best, while families with kids may find monthly park outings easier. Heck, there are mom (and dad!) groups who simply amass in the cul-de-sac every Friday night for a couple of drinks while the kids play in the yard.

For mixed groups, ie. a mix of friends who are single, dating, have children or are child-free, a flexible and family-friendly location can work best. Think a park with a playground area, an at-home wine and cheese night, or an outdoor BBQ.

I’m on board, now who should I invite?

Keep it small and keep it simple. If your weekly event is a cookout, don’t make it a big production. Having tons of food options is great for a large celebration, but for a weekly gathering, pare it down to just hot dogs and a side item. Put a playlist on a Bluetooth speaker, break out the cornhole boards and call it a day!

Two to six people is the sweet spot of attendees. Larger groups can get overwhelming, especially if the event is hosted at someone’s home. And with a smaller group, members are less likely to have last-minute-itis because they know they are an integral part of the team.

How can I make my standing reservation a reality?

Communication is key. Be clear on a set time and place. Use group texts or a private Facebook page to share details. And set a baseline expectation that everyone is presumed to be there unless they say they are not attending.

*****

Need more ideas? Start here.